


Beautifully Broken

by thisishowwelearntobebrave



Category: Real Person Fiction, SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Age Difference, F/M, Oral Sex, Past Abuse, Penis In Vagina Sex, Sex, Swearing, Unsafe Sex, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex, mentions of drinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-13
Updated: 2020-01-13
Packaged: 2021-02-19 07:17:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22240690
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thisishowwelearntobebrave/pseuds/thisishowwelearntobebrave
Summary: Sometimes all we need is to be put back together.  When Minghao is determined to make you see yourself the way he sees you, can you trust him and let go of the past?
Relationships: Xu Ming Hao | The8/Reader
Kudos: 27





	Beautifully Broken

**Author's Note:**

> I have barely skimmed over this for errors, so please excuse any mistakes. It took me lots of breaks and redoing to make this how I was happy with it. Forgive me if there are any other warnings I need to add. I tried to cover them all. If there are more, please let me know. I hope someone likes this. It took forever...lol.

Beautifully Broken

by  
ThisIsHowWeLearnToBeBrave 

Tension hung thick in the air as you stared each other down. You tried to control the tremor in your voice, but knew you failed as you saw the glint of hope in his midnight eyes. "Hao, you know we can't do this." you tried to sound stern and force him to back down, but you knew he was too determined to let it go. He stepped a little closer, his own hands shaking with excitement as he once more voiced the request. ''Please, jie jie, just one kiss, and if you don't feel anything, I'll back off." His eyes were so concentrated on you, and you were sure your heart was beating loud enough for him to hear. Your mind was screaming at you to put your foot down and tell him to stop, but your body was a traitorous bitch who would not shut the fuck up! 

You took a deep, trembling breath and lifted your chin to him, forcing your hands to stay at your sides as you met his intense gaze. Taking your gesture as approval, he licked his suddenly dry lips and swallowed, slowly moving closer to you. You knew he was not going to give up, but his slow, halting movements told you that he wouldn't force you, either. He moved at such a lazy pace that you felt your breath coming into sync with his, shivers of anticipation twirling gentle fingers up and down your spine. You had already closed your eyes as his features blurred at his proximity, your breath catching sharply in your chest as you waited for the contact. When it came, you fought to constrain the moan that simmered in your chest, burning to escape. One of his long-fingered hands cradled your burning cheek, his other hand landing on your shoulder and sliding down and around to the curve of your waist. His lips were soft, warm, and wet as they met yours, your shaking hands making contact with his sides and gliding up and up his long, lean torso until they settled at the nape of his neck, tangling into his soft hair. You could feel the heat rolling off his body, could smell his citrus blossom and sandalwood soap. You could swear you tasted the tang of the wine he had drunk on his tongue. You wondered if he knew that his fingers were grasping and releasing against you or not, but when he began to pull back—breathing hard, you noticed—your mind snapped and your own fingers tugged at his hair when your lips untangled. Holding him in place with your firm grasp, you noted with a tingle of pleasure that he whimpered low in his throat when you pulled on the strands caught between your fingers.

Struggling to catch your breath as much as he was, you searched for words of protest, but came up empty. Your lust-fogged brain offered up no resistance, no excuses to refuse him. You wanted to be angry, but at whom? Him or yourself? Exhaling a shaky breath, you moved far enough away that you could maintain your hold on him, but also look into his eyes. “You knew…you knew I couldn’t say no…” you said softly, your voice full of surprise to even yourself. The mesmerizing way the low light caught and sparkled teasingly in his eyes offered you confirmation. You took another breath to speak again, but he placed one long finger gingerly over your lips and rested it there as he answered. His voice was low and soft, teasing like silk as it washed over you. “I hoped. I’ve been watching you…when you’re quiet, even though the room is noisy and chaotic. I watch the way you laugh, and the way you lose yourself in the most mundane things, but I also see how your eyes drift to where I am. Mine search for you, too, jie jie… I dream such vivid dreams of you at night when I actually DO get sleep, and when I don’t…well, you’re on my mind then, too.” The grasping of his fingers against your hip was more than enough explanation for what he meant, but he said it aloud just the same—“Your eyes, your energy, the way you smile, the way you move… When you leave the room, I could swear I still smell the scent of you lingering… It drives me crazy to the point I have to excuse myself or be embarrassed at my body’s reaction. I ache to call you then…just to hear your voice, so I can…” He gasped softly then, his words stuttering out into a groan as your free hand slid from his cheek to his collarbone to his hip in one long, torturous journey.

Fighting to control himself, he leaned down and pressed his forehead to yours, his tremulous breath fanning tenderly over your skin. You still had your fingers tangled in his hair, and you knew, logically, that you should put your foot down and stop him now if you ever had any hope of refusing him. Tugging at the silken strands again, you felt the heat of his breath as he moaned against your lips. Your body shook despite your best efforts to stop it. You shouldn’t give him any more hold over you. It would never work…this age difference, this status difference…everything. He needed to move on to someone closer to his own age and more suited to a future with him. “Stop it, please…” his voice wrenched you from your thoughts. “I can feel you trying to pull away…to come up with excuses. Please, stop it. I won’t let go. I’ll never hurt you. Let me show you.” 

Closing your eyes to fight the tears that threatened to spill, you took a shaking breath to steady yourself. Fighting the storm of doubt that raged inside you, feeling him projecting his hopes, his desires, his very WILL at you, you fought back a sob as your breath hitched in your chest. You could feel him taking a breath to speak again, so you quickly slid your fingers over his lips, and pressed firmly, cutting off his words before they could tumble free and break your resolve. Feeling you pulling away from him, he fought back in a last-ditch effort, and grabbed both of your hands from him, backing you against the nearest wall and pinning them in one large hand above your head. “Hao…Minghao… we can’t. I can’t…you deserve better than me. I’m used up, damaged, broken…” Your words were full of so much pain, it was a tangible thing in the air, and Minghao shook with the force of trying not to lash out and yell at you that he didn’t care. A soft growl worked its way out of his throat and he broke your torrent of doubtful words, “Maybe, but let me help you become whole again. I’ll put you back together.”

Your eyes snapped open at his words, the tears sliding over your skin in a flood as your gaze locked with his. Everything connected, fell into place like destiny. You had been hurt and heartbroken so many times already that it was your default to shut down and run away, but the way he looked at you gave you pause. Could you really let go and trust him? Before either of you could even blink again, you came together, body against body, skin to skin, lip-locked-to-lip. Hands moved over hair and cloth, grabbing and moving and exposing more than just skin. The heat in the room doubled as clothing was pulled away and the soft sounds of passion filled in the blank moments of silence between one track and the next coming softly from the bluetooth speakers on Minghao’s bedside table. As the song changed from the soft, sultry jazz the two of you had been listening to while drinking wine earlier to a low, throbbing bass-driven piece, you both naturally took a break from your kissing to look into each others’ eyes. As his dark, glittering gaze swept over your nearly-naked form, you shivered and suddenly became shy. Your face flamed scarlet and you tried to cross your arms over your bra-clad chest, dipping your head and wetting your suddenly-dry lips as he studied you intently. 

He captured your wrists delicately and pulled your arms away, releasing them by your side as he sat on his knees before you. You felt gentle fingers against your face as he tilted your chin up to meet your eyes. One long-fingered hand danced its way over your lips, your cheek, your jaw, and down to the curve of where your shoulder and neck connected. You swallowed hard and gasped at his touch. His fingers felt as soft as the flutter of butterflies’ wings against your damp skin, and you couldn’t help the way your eyes slipped shut at the contact. He gently moved your hair off your shoulder and you could feel him shift, moving closer to you. You steeled yourself for more kisses, but he wasn’t aiming for you lips this time. Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion for a split second before you felt his mouth on the tender column of your throat. He started off slowly, just gentle, wet presses of his open mouth against you, moving from your neck to your collarbone, then across to your shoulder as he moved the straps of your bra away. He tugged you up onto your knees, his hands warm and firm against the dip of your spine. One of his hands came to rest against the curve of your hot cheek, while the other quickly released the clasp of your bra and let it fall free. 

You resisted that urge to cover yourself again, hands balling into fists at your sides as you caught his eyes on your now-naked breasts. He looked enraptured, spellbound, his slim torso glistening with a sheen of sweat in the dim light as he looked at you. “You’re so beautiful, honey…more than even my wildest dreams. Never hide from me, please.” His voice held such reverence, your heart stuttered its beating, your chest swelling with something you’d never felt before. He was looking you over as if you were the most priceless, most-treasured work of art he’d ever seen. You guessed, to him, in that moment, you were. Feeling bold, you raised up onto your knees more to match his height, and wove your fingers once again into his hair. Thrusting your chest towards him, you shivered at the sounds that spilled out of him just before his hot mouth found one peaked nipple and worried it gently with his teeth and tongue. He captured the other with his long fingers, rolling it gently to pull the most beautiful sounds from your flushed, kiss-swollen lips he’d ever heard. Your head dropped back and your eyes squeezed shut so tightly you saw stars as you felt the gentle flickering and swirling of his nimble tongue over one and then the other nipple. 

When you felt him pause, you looked down at him to see why he’d stopped and the passion-filled fire blazing hot in his glimmering, dark gaze was enough to steal the breath from your lungs. “Watch me while I make you feel good, baby. You look away, and I’ll stop…” His voice was raspy and lower than you’d ever heard it before. It sent tingles traipsing up and down your spine and you could feel the wetness pool even more between your legs. He gently set his palm in the middle of your heaving breasts and guided you to lie back and rest your head onto his pillow as he repositioned himself between your spread and shaking thighs. Tugging your pajama bottoms and panties off in one go, he never took his eyes off you as he dropped them to the floor beside the bed with a soft swish. The potency of his gaze had you wishing you could close your legs, but him being sat there on his knees wouldn’t allow it. Goosebumps were blooming on your skin in the wake of his fingers fluttering softly over your knees and up the insides of your thighs as he moved onto his belly. His breath ghosted over your soaking wet folds and his eyes drank you in like the wine you’d both consumed earlier.

Feeling self-conscious again, you tried to cover your sex with your hand, but he snagged your wrist before you could, and placed your fingers into his own hair as he turned to place damp kisses on your inner thigh. He made sure your eyes were still focused on him as he kissed and nipped and licked his way up to your dripping folds and licked a long, slow stripe up to your clit, gathering your wetness onto his tongue and pulling a shaky moan from your lips. “Mmm, so very sweet, baby. I need more.” His voice had you shaking and arching your hips up at him to gain more contact, and he lowered his head back to your sex and repeated the action again and again, his voice humming against you causing the most delicious vibrations, adding to the heavenly friction. You tried to keep your voice down because you knew the other members were also in the dorm, but the harder you tried to be quiet, the more ruthless Minghao was with his motions. Wicked tongue swirling and rolling and flickering over your clit, he decided to up the ante and add in first one, and then two of his long, slim fingers. He groaned as they slid effortlessly into your dripping pussy, quickly becoming drenched in your slick. “God, baby, you’re so fucking wet.” He pumped his fingers a few times, the lewd squelch of your wetness filling your ears, before slipping them out of you and sliding them into his own mouth, noisily slurping the sweet juices from them and licking the excess from his lips. With his other thumb still circling gently over your throbbing clit, he leaned up over you to press his mouth hotly to yours, letting you taste yourself on his tongue.

His mouth slid from yours and down to your neck, sucking purple blooms onto the tender skin as his hips rolled against yours, the fabric of his track pants sliding delicious friction against your naked sex. “I could taste you for hours, baby, but this time, I need to be inside you. I need to feel you.” His words were full of desperation, and you pulled his gaze to yours as you spoke, “Then don’t make either of us wait anymore. I need you, too, Hao. Please…” That was all he needed as he slid his pants and boxers down over his lean hips and off his long, long legs to drop them to the floor with yours. He kissed you again, his fingers spreading into you hair as he positioned himself between your open and waiting thighs. Pulling away from your mouth, his eyes burned into yours as he panted out his next words, “Eyes on me…don’t look away.” Slowly, ever-so-slowly, he slid into you, and you fought the urge to close your eyes and get lost in the bliss. When he was finally seated all the way, you simply lost yourself in each others’ eyes, sharing the same breath, the same trip-hopping heartbeat, and in that moment, you felt more treasured, more protected, safer than you ever had.

Neither of you wanted to break the spell that had enraptured you, but the body’s needs will out, and you grabbed his hair again, rolling your hips up to his, sparkling eyes on fire as you whispered out a breathless, “Please…need you…” That was all it took for him to start a slow but steadily-building rhythm, his strong dancer hips coming into play as he kept a tempo to the music that filled the empty spaces of his now-humid room. The only lights that battled away the darkness were the fairy lights that hung over his bed, and they cast ethereal star-like patterns of light and shadow over you both as you moved in tandem. “Oh, jie jie, I could cover you in love bites…” he moaned against your neck, his tongue swirling against the damp skin. You pulled his gaze to yours as you spoke, “Do it, then…” The sudden suction and pull of his mouth as it painted indigo and amethyst flowers on your skin had you moaning again, louder than the lull in the music, but you couldn’t be bothered to care at that point.

Every thrust, every kiss, every grasp of his fingers on your body had you in heaven. You’d never been this well-taken-care-of, and you were loving every moment, hoping you could lose yourself in it, burn it into your hazy brain and never let go. Part of you knew it couldn’t logically last, but that part of you, you decided, could fuck right off. Scratching your dark red nails lightly down his lean back you felt him shiver and his hips stuttered in their rhythm, faltered only for a moment before he shoved his cock back into you fully and held there as he growled, “Don’t make me cum yet, please. I want to feel you first.” The heat flared hotter in your belly, your pussy clenching involuntarily at his words. “Fuck, baby, you feel so good. I’m not gonna last like this.” His words were peppered with moans and you decided to take control before he lost it. Tapping his hip, you motioned with your hands, disengaging him from your body for a moment. Flipping him onto his back, you quickly settled yourself over his hips, sliding him back into place within you in one long glide that had his hands doing that grasping thing once more on your hips. He was squeezing so tightly this time that you knew that there would undoubtedly be bruises there come morning, and you secretly thrilled in delight at the thought.

As you began a new rhythm of up and down on his cock, you could feel his hands ever in motion on your hips, your waist, your breasts, and you threw back your head in abandon at his touch. You could feel the fire burning hotter and hotter within you and you knew if you kept moving the way you were that you wouldn’t last long either. Planting your hands on his chest, you started to swirl your hips in figures of eight, clenching around him on every other stroke, and his moans were nearly nonstop, his voice breaking the hot air as it danced across your naked breasts. “Please…jie jie…” His words sounded so broken, stuttering out into a whimper at the end, and you took mercy on him, pulling his mouth to yours again, hungrily. Teeth, lips and tongues clashed and danced as you picked up the pace of your rolling hips. Sitting up suddenly, Minghao wrapped his arms around your waist as he fucked up into your every downstroke, and you could feel him swelling and twitching inside you as he moved. This new angle and his urgent motions in counterpoint to yours had pleasure sizzling up your spine, the sparks waiting to burst into full flame and engulf you. You could feel it building and building, both of your moans growing and growing in the dim room. Locking eyes with him, you clenched the strands of his damp hair between your fingers tightly, breathing into each others’ open mouths, only unintelligible noises tumbling between you now, painting the shadows in ever-growing pleasure.

Higher and higher you climbed, bodies trembling now from being held on the edge for so long. You were shaking against him now, your overused muscles protesting this prolonged tension. Just when you thought neither of you could take any more, that spring inside you wound and coiled to the breaking point, and suddenly unraveled. Heat flooded your whole body, a bright flash of pure white taking your vision, your breath held hostage in your chest for a split second before bursting free and cascading into the tepid air that washed over your spent bodies. Your ears faintly caught the last notes of Minghao’s bliss as he unclasped his fingers from your hair and smoothed his hands down your back to gently settle at your waist. Leaning back against his pillows, he shifted you, pulling you off his softening length and tucking you close to his side. He reached to pull the discarded sheet from the floor and draped it loosely over you both as the drew your lips into a careful kiss. Tucking a stray strand of your hair behind your ear, he stroked the backs of his fingers tenderly across your cheek as he stared dreamily into your eyes.

The moment of calm was suddenly shattered by the sounds of the doorknob being rattled and an urgent knock on the door. Minghao put his finger to his lips as mischief glimmered in his eyes and you both waited to see what happened next. “Hyung? Have you seen Noona? We can’t find her…” the sound of Chan’s voice spluttered to a halt as he swung the door open to find you both there, the sheet covering the important bits but leaving nothing to the imagination of what had just happened. You could barely hide your giggles as the maknae’s eyes got wide and he looked at anything else but you, his face on fire as he fidgeted and rubbed the back of his neck. From the hallway, another voice filtered into your ears. This time it was Mingyu. “Did he know where she is? Did you find her?” Shaking your head softly at the flustered man, you smiled brightly when he picked up on your nonverbal hint. “She might have fallen asleep in one of the rooms. I don’t know…” His words faded as he glanced at you both before backing out of the room, locking the door with a deft flick of his wrist, and closing it firmly behind him. You knew you’d have lots of fun teasing him about this later. Unable to contain your laughter, the both of you had a good giggle at the expense of the maknae. Leaning up to press your lips against Hao’s, you smiled warmly as he watched you. “Thank you for showing me that even broken can be beautiful.” He smiled at your words, answering “You’re welcome,” wrapping you in his embrace as you both settled down to sleep, secure in the knowledge that different can be lovely and even the most shattered heart can be turned into a treasured work of art.


End file.
